Las Vegas 2009 - Part 1

I've been way too busy to Blog lately. New job (I'm now a Vice President, yeah the same guy making on the goofy faces below), selling my condo, buying a new place - lots of shit.

I'll just include some pics for your viewing pleasure.

One typical Vegas shot.




A couple Vegas Cowboys.




Getting Smashed in old Vegas!




My wifey!




Who's gonna ride that Donkey, Donkey!





I love bums!

Unwanted Anal Air Conditioning

The wife and I are considering buying a new house, we would like to have some more space (perhaps for Ben Jr?). They are building these townhouses close to us, they are expensive but will be really nice inside, care to guess how much they will cost?

www.upperbeachmanors.com

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I bent over to fix my chair at work the other day. WRIIIIIIP. I split my pants. I couldn't believe it, I thought that only happened in the movies. It happened at 2:30 and I didn't get up for 3 hours. I made a quick exit and no one knew. Luckily I drove that day and didn't have to ride the subway!

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As I get older, it seems everything hurts after sports. My hamstring was hurting at work last week. The next day I had to bring Ben Gay to work and rub it on my leg in the bathroom.

For some reason Ben Gay is funny. If you rub it on your leg too high, it makes your balls tingle.

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Would you consider me a bad person if I patented the "Suicide Diving Board". Wait I guess they kinda invented that before (the plank). I'll come up with another idea.

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My friends came in for the worlds largest outdoor dog festival!

We saw tons of cute dogs and some crazy ass ones. Here are our friend's pets:







If you didn't look at the blue eyed Australian Sheppard puppy and say "AHHHH" then there is something wrong with you, I mean come on, you don't even need a tongue to make that sound.

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A Bad joke by Big Ben:

What do you call it when someone knits themselves to death?

Sew-icide

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I'll check back in a couple weeks. I'm off to VEGAS!

Porn on the Fourth of July (June 9th actually)

Following my encounter with a micro celebrity last week, I was super excited to have another siting - PORN STAR Maxine X!



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After watching "The Hangover" this weekend I really want to go to a bachelor party. I might get my chance, I'm going to VEGAS next week and a friend of mine will also be there for a wedding. I don't know the guy who is getting married, but I might just show up at his bachelor party. Nevada boobies, Yeah!

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Who let the dogs out?

Anwar, what is he Good for?

Are you the kind of person that gets excited when you see someone from TV while you are out on the town? I do, even if it is the smallest most indistinct show on TV. I would never actually go up to these people but I often try to take their picture.

I saw George Stroumboulopoulos from The Hour at the Jays game, but didn't get a pic.

Last night at a work event, the Cash Man was there, Russell Oliver!

I also saw Anwar from The Designer Guys, I circled him for you:



He is the guy in this picture on the far right:



He was wearing the summer man-scarf, horrible trend. Gay men don't wear sports jerseys and track pants, so straight guys keep your scrafs for winter please.

Have you seen any micro celebrities lately?

No Tact Attack

I use my personal camera for work purposes (they actually gave it to me for as a X-mas gift). I asked a co-worker if he could take a picture for me while he was out. He said he could and I gave him my camera. He immediately starts taking pictures around the office with and then starts looking at all my photos on my camera.

I'm like what the fuck?

What is wrong with people? If I asked to use your cell phone I wouldn't start looking through your contact list. If he wanted to take a look he should have asked.

Am I overreacting?

Square Root of Pie (is a slice).

I went to a Jay game with my brother and law and his family. I wanted to get a hug with Ace, the Jays mascot, but my damn nieces beat me too hit, I'm so disappointed:



During the game a ball came very close to us. I got ready for it, but it was going to go over my head, I didn't jump for it because that never works, I just let it go. I didn't want to look like a tool, but then again I might have caught it and made it onto Sportscentre? Who knows. I didn't want to bust my hand up either. Ironically, I jammed my finger pretty good in basketball last week, my index finger is now as fat as a penis (insert your joke or witty comment here).

The Jays lost and have stunk since. It was fun while it lasted. Stupid Yankees and Red Sox.

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I got a "Mumble Crumble" apple pie while on the road last weekend, it was awesome. This place features a giant red apple. I could eat that apple if I really wanted to:



If I was in a band, this would be my album cover:



Our band name you ask: Big Ben and the Apple Pirates.

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My wife and I met up with an old friend of hers recently and he was talking about his new dog. We will say that the dog's name is Sarah*. I asked my wife as we left, wasn't the girl he dated for 4 years in college named Sarah? She said it was and we laughed. Weird.

Now I'm starting to wonder why my wife has suggested 'Best Sex Bob' or 'One Night Stan' for the name of our first puppy!



*This is actually the dog's name, I'm not going to use dog aliases, that is getting carried away.

More and Less of Me

Well it appears that summer is here! What that means is there is going to be a lot more happening in the life of Big Ben and not as much time for posting on my blog. I'm playing on two softball teams, basketball is not over yet, and I have a new gym less than 5 minutes away. Looks like there will be one less person at my work which means more work for me to do, so less blogging. I quit last year, so I don't want to be the guy that quits every year, I'll just post when I post, most of you have that "posted 3 days ago" thingy on your site anyway, so you'll know when I come back in. Who know maybe I will have a lot on my mind this summer?

They posted some "action" shots at my basketball league's website, here are some involving yours truly.

My achilles heel, free throws:



Battling for a rebound:



Schooling my man and hitting the lefty lay-up:



This game I only schooled my man about 1 time and they got a picture of it. My man hit five 3 point shots!

Go Blue Jays.